An open hand.

Back again, hello everyone.

Yesterday was full of self realization, but also full of comfort. I spent my day, for the most part poking around other blogs, looking at the views, perspectives, thoughts and experiences of others, and I have to admit, reading this stuff helps me a lot, and I can only hope to one day achieve a level of writing which can serve as a refuge for others.

But, in order to be able to let others in, and to be able to give of myself, I need to remain open. Open in a way that means I will always be ready to give a hand to those who need it, regardless of their own awareness of it. And at the same time, open in a way that allows others to give me what they want, regardless of wether or not i want to accept what they are offering.

This can be the hardest part, atleast for me, when it comes to remaining open. You can't always know what people are going to give you, and sometimes, you end up holding hot coals, and those leave scars. The instinct for some, becomes to keep their hands in their pockets, and stay closed in, without any way of shaking hands with others, having been fooled by the "elecrtical shock ring" a few times too many.

From where I stand atleast, I feel as if I have realized that I always have to expect the best, and not worry about the worst, not even leaving room to fear it. I've been told that my lack of this type of fear, surprises people. Is it because I have no fear? Or could it simply be because I haven't been burnt enough times, yet.

So no matter the situation, I do my best to keep a smile on my face, and always expect the best, where others expect the worst, and where hope has become their only lure towards their goals. For me, hope alone was never enough, and they way things are looking now, I doubt they ever will be. I need expectations aswell. I can't afford to predict how things will be in detail, but I expect tomorrow to be a good day, because if I didn't, why would I bother getting up? Hope?... As I said, I need both.

I truly believe that as long as I remain open, reaching out, I will recieve more good then bad, regardless of wether I have to grab it myself, or if it will be handed to me. Accepting what others want to give me will always be important, even if they wish me harm. (Not that I intend to place myself in the line of fire for anyone at any time, taking care of yourself is important).

If I can't reach out safely, I'll never get the answers I need. And no matter how badly my hand gets singed, it wont heal unless I keep it open, for the raindrops to mend my burns.